[genderswap: For Tony Motherfucking Stark]

[segaboybrodie]

The mission was clear. Get Tony Stark to do karaoke.

Brodie couldn't remember why the fuck he'd agreed to do this in the first place now. It'd been so long ago since he and Karen had the conversation that it was all lost. He guessed it was just for shits and giggles at this point now.

After he'd argued with Karen and Serena for what seemed like fucking FOREVER, he'd finally shown up at the Hub in something they thought was presentable and appropriately Chick-like. Brodie had been pretty sure that all he'd really have to do was flash the guy or some shit and it'd all work out alright.

He DID have a pretty impressive rack as a chick, after all.

With a drink in his hand at the Hub, Brodie waited to see if Iron Man'd show up.

If he knew his comics (and he DID), it was really only a matter of time.

Comments

[notawastedlife]

One would think that with so many guys running around looking like girls, a man would be extra-cautious.

That man would not be Tony Stark, but he hadn't guessed wrong yet. Actually, he hadn't really thought of it as guessing. How hard could it be to spot the ones sporting a set of new equipment?

Confident in his ability to do so, he strolled to the Hub completely unaware that he was about to become rather impressively wrong.

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They'd thought about that. About all the chicks with dicks and dudes with boobs strolling around the island stressing about what the fuck to do when they had to go piss.

That was why Brodie wasn't allowed to touch his tits. He was glad he'd gotten in all his touching earlier.

Okay, okay, so what did Chicks do in this situation? Probably pretend they hadn't even seen the guy they wanted to talk to. Typical chick bullshit, but if Brodie was going to pass himself off as one, he couldn't pull out any stops.

After Brodie had seen him arrive, he turned back to his drink and tossed his hair over one shoulder.

[notawastedlife]

Right, well, this was a slow night. Let's see, no, maybe, boyfriend, no, thought he possibly remembered her so there was a bigger chance she remembered him, yes.

Tony didn't generally bother with impulse control in these circumstances, he usually just went for the first yes and then if that didn't work out moved on to another.

"Can I- you've got one," he said, looking at the drink. "Could you finish that so I can get you a new one? It's the principle of the thing."

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SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Maybe it was because Brodie never bought drinks for chicks that he hadn't thought to not already have one. But then, wouldn't it have looked fucking RIDICULOUS to sit at a bar without a drink.

Jesus fucking Christ, Brodie was glad he didn't have to do this shit every day. It was exhausting. Plus, that whole squatting thing was getting really fucking old.

Brodie turned and looked at him, raising his Chick Eyebrows like he'd seen Rene and Eden do like five hundred times.

"Hi?" He said.

[notawastedlife]

"Hi," said Tony, in the process of acquiring himself a drink since she already had one. He didn't mind, really, it happened. Saved time, gave him something to say. "I'm Tony. You're... new? You seem pretty calm to be new."

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"I've been here a few weeks," Brodie lied, fidgeting in his seat. Fuck, but he should have insisted on boxers. Chick underwear were like some kind of torture.

"Trixie." He extended a feminine hand for Tony to shake.

[notawastedlife]

"Tony," said he, clasping her hand lightly for just a lingering moment, maybe with a bit of thumb on the pulse-point action, there. That was mostly a reflex, he didn't even think about it. "Did you used to be an alien or something? I'm not biased, that's actually interesting, I can just never tell. Lots of aliens look like attractive human women, apparently, it... gives me faith in the benevolence of the universe."

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Okay, that was fucking WEIRD. Brodie tried not to pull his hand away too quickly, so Iron Man wouldn't see how FREAKED THE FUCK OUT he was.

He shook his head. "No, not an alien," Brodie said, "Though that'd be kinda cool. Especially if you could have tentacles and shit. You know, except...with...sparkles."

FUCK. This was harder than Brodie thought.

[notawastedlife]

A little skittish, maybe? Well, she was still there, he'd stick around.

"I don't know, I think tentacles might cramp my style," Tony said, "and they're not really, they'd hurt my chances in the romance department. Except in Japan, maybe."

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And then, friends, something happened that Brodie hadn't anticipated. No, he hadn't gotten all tingly in his Chick Parts or anything.

He GIGGLED. Fucking GIGGLED in his high pitched Chick Voice. He tried to cover it up by taking another sip of his drink, but it was too late.

Fuck, but he was glad his doppelganger was nowhere to be found, cause he'd never hear the end of this shit. As it was, Karen probably wasn't gonna let him forget it.

"So, how long have you been here?" Brodie asked, trying to keep the conversation going. He had to stick to the plan. Karaoke was the plan. He hadn't put on fucking HEELS for nothing, after all.

[notawastedlife]

Tony smiled, because there it was. People he could make laugh were so much more interesting than the other kind. In the short-term, at least.

"Longer than I expected," he said, leaning back on the bar and taking a sip of his drink. "A few months. Practically an old hand. You need any tips, advice, I'm your man."

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Tony Stark was one smooth fucker. Brodie knew this. He'd read enough comics to know. But somehow, there was a difference between the ink and paper of his comics, and sitting at a bar next to him.

"I could definitely use some tips." He said, with a small smile, barely keeping himself from adding 'and shit' to the end of his sentence.

Trixie was a lady after all.

[notawastedlife]

"Alright, well, first of all, where are you staying?" Tony said. As far as he was concerned, decent lodgings were an important thing to be giving tips about.

Nevermind he'd just stayed where he was put until Pepper had shown up to organize an improvement. "Crash room, dorms? You don't want to stick around there, roommates will cramp your style. You want a nice, cozy hut."

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Chicks hated dirt. Brodie remembered that shit from back when he was a kid. They always went fucking crazy when they got their ribbons and unicorns dusty. Or when they got tricked into eating mud pies.

...not that Brodie had ever done that or anything.

"But aren't those really dirty?" Brodie asked, drawing on his past experiences in this oh, so important moment.

[notawastedlife]

Tony paused, his face quite obviously balanced on the edge of a knowing smile, the hint of it deliberately apparent.

'Really dirty', now, there was a phrase for you...

"No, they're fine, windows and everything, these days," Tony said. "Very... modern. As tropical huts go. Little villas, really. I'd be happy to show you mine."

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Holy fucking shit! Brodie wondered what kind of shit Tony'd created and rigged up in his own hut. Who knows, maybe he had a whole fucking fleet of suits. Or robot butlers.

Brodie almost piped up immediately that they'd better fucking get a move on, but there was The Mission. He was sitting here in Chick clothes, gallavanting around with his tits for a REASON.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay here?" Brodie asked, and then against every instinct in his body (even his CHICK body), reached out and patted Tony's hand twice.

"I mean, there's karaoke. Maybe someone will get up and sing."

[notawastedlife]

That probably should have been some kind of tip-off, but Tony was a little distracted. Perils of being distractable.

He turned so he was facing - Trisha? Tawny? Best to avoid using the name unless it came back to him - more, and said, "That could be- I was going to say painful. But, hey, there might be some famous singer out here, who knows, with this crowd. We can stick around, I can give you the tour later."

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Brodie was going to regret this. If anyone ever found out that he was actually Trixie, or if Karen ever told people this shit, he was never gonna live it down.

When Tony turned, Brodie turned too, an almost sneaky look on his face.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He asked.

[notawastedlife]

"Absolutely," Tony said automatically, apparently not even pausing to think. "Go for it. My lips are- absolutely."

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"You're gonna think it silly," Brodie said, "but I LOVE singers. Back home, I sucked this guy's dick just because he sang to me."

Shit. He probably shouldn't have added that last part. Chick didn't go around talking about how many dicks they'd sucked did they? At least not around GUYS.

Brodie was convinced that they had parties where they practiced on carrots and zucchinis and kissed pillows and shit.

"I'm so embarassed." He added, in an attempt to cover up what he'd just said.

[notawastedlife]

Tony paused with his drink tipped halfway back, and raised his eyebrows.

Then again, with a name like Tawnette, it kind of figured.

Then he swallowed - poor choice of words - finished his drink, and put it down, shaking his head and saying, "I'm not judging! It could be worse. I've heard worse. You could be, I don't know. Into raccoons."

He leaned in a little, the raised eyebrows taking on a slightly new meaning. "I'm just- I'm going to hit that karaoke, how about that. Take your mind off the embarrasment."

[segaboybrodie.livejournal.com]

FUCKING AMAZING. Brodie almost stopped and patted HIMSELF on the back for this shit. But that was the power of tits. With a great rack came great responsibility.

He couldn't drop the act now though. Tony said he'd do it, but he hadn't actually gone through with it yet.

"Really?" Brodie asked, "You know, that'd be really hot."

[notawastedlife]

"Sure, why not?" Tony said, lightly clapping his hands and then pressing them together. "Any requests? Black Sabbath? I can think of a pretty apt Black Sabbath song."

[segaboybrodie.livejournal.com]

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

He couldn't remember whether or not Karen had thought of a specific song for him to request, and for the life of him, he couldn't think of anything off the top of his head. All of Brodie's brainpower at the moment was going towards NOT breaking character.

That and not looking at his own tits. They were pretty goddamn nice, as far as tits went.

"Really? What song is that?" He asked.

[notawastedlife]

"Iron Man," Tony said, promptly. "It's, uh, there's kind of a thing there. It's a reference."

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Brodie hoped to GOD AND STAN LEE that Karen, wherever the fuck she was, surveying this, had a video camera. A ONCE IN A LIFETIME thing was about to happen here.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

"Ooh! You should sing that one, then!"

[notawastedlife]

"Whatever the lady asks," Tony said, hopping off his barstool, downing another drink. He winked at Tanielle and stepped lightly over to the karaoke machine, plucking up the microphone and scrolling down the options.